Help For Men
Many Christian men who find themselves struggling with pornography and lust sit in church week after week burdened with guilt and shame and the feeling of being trapped with no way out. They think, “I’m the only one who struggles with this and there is no one I can talk to.”
If this is you, there is hope.
We believe that the following steps will be helpful in breaking free from this addictive cycle.
You need to understand that you are not alone. As many as 50% of the men sitting in the pews beside you are struggling with the same issue.
You need to tell a Godly man about your struggle. Lust thrives in secrecy and isolation. Like a leach, lust attaches itself to the soul and sucks it dry, leaving the man empty, disconnected and burdened with guilt and shame. The man who is struggling with pornography or sex addiction knows he needs help but is afraid to tell someone for fear of embarrassment and rejection. Holding in this secret gives lust a stronger foothold and the desire to turn to sexual sin only intensifies. In time lust becomes the master.
In Psalm 32:3, David writes "When I declared not my sin, my body wasted away." David went on to say in Psalm 32:5, “Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity…and you forgave the guilt of my sin.” God did not intend for us to carry the burden of our sins.
It is crucial that you STOP the intake of sensual images. We live in a society that is being bombarded with sensual images 24-7 and I am not just talking about “pornographic images”. Men are visual and if we allow our eyes to lock in and linger, our mind has the ability to draw sexual gratification from the sensual images in our surroundings. The Bible says in Matthew 5:28, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Make it a habit to bounce your eyes away from sensual images. Job 31:1 says, “I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.” Once you STOP the intake of sensual images beware, your mind can still draw sexual gratification from thoughts and previously viewed images. Eph. 5:3 says, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or of any kind of impurity…” When these thoughts and images surface, your defense verse can be 2 Cor. 10:5b, “…take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Friend, the Bible tells us in 1 Cor. 6:19-20 that “…your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit…you are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”
You need to seek out accountability. Find a Godly man whom you consider to be a mentor who is willing to meet with you on a weekly basis. This person needs to be willing to ask the tough questions about your spiritual life such as, temptation, confession, thought life, prayer life and the reading of God’s Word. Don’t hold anything back. Honesty and transparency are crucial. James 5:16 says, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”
We at Unshackled Ministries strongly recommend that you sign up for a online workshop offered by X-3 Pure. The workshop is a confidential way for men to begin the recovery process. As an alternative to the X-3 Pure online workshop, you may want to consider The Way of Purity – Breaking the Addiction to Pornography. This is a FREE online course offered by Setting Captives Free.
Install accountability software on all laptop/desktop computers that you have access to. Accountability Software monitors and logs all internet activity and sends reports of internet activity via email and text to accountability partners selected by the user. In addition you should install filtering software. For accountability and internet filtering software Unshackled Ministries recommends Covenant Eyes and Safe Eyes.
Please visit our resource page for additional resources. The resources that we offer are designed to educate and empower those engaged in the battle for sexual purity.
Although we believe that the six steps listed above will be helpful in breaking free from the bondage of pornography, we also encourage men to seek out professional Christian counseling to help them overcome this addictive cycle and address other behavioral issues.
The Scriptures quoted are from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.